Decision-Making for Dissatisfied Professional Women
You’ve spent years—maybe decades—curating a life that makes sense. A career built on expertise. A home filled with meaning. A routine that keeps it all running. And yet, here you are, staring at the structure you’ve so carefully built, wondering why it doesn’t feel satisfying anymore.
If you’re a professional woman—especially one discovering later in life that AuDHD might be part of your experience—this moment of dissatisfaction isn’t just about work. It’s about identity. It’s about the weight of past choices. It’s about reconciling who you’ve been with who you’re becoming.
And making a decision about what’s next? That’s where the real tension lies.
The Three Phases of Internal Conflict in Decision-Making
Big decisions rarely arrive as lightning bolts of clarity. More often, they move through cycles of avoidance, resistance, and allowing—each carrying its own set of challenges. If you’re feeling stuck, notice where you are in this process:
1. Avoidance: Gathering Information Without Engaging the Question
At first, the idea of change hovers at the edge of your awareness. You sense something isn’t right, but instead of diving in, you…
- Research endlessly, hoping the right answer will appear.
- Stay busy optimizing your current situation rather than questioning it.
- Remind yourself how lucky you are and wonder if you should feel dissatisfied at all.
- Tell yourself you don’t have the bandwidth to explore this right now.
The question is there, but you’re circling it rather than stepping into it. And that makes sense—change is destabilizing, especially when you’ve spent years constructing a life that should work.
2. Resistance: Wrestling With the Emotional Weight of Change
Then, the discomfort intensifies. The question refuses to be ignored. But instead of feeling clear, you feel… tired. Trapped. Torn between what’s familiar and what might be possible.
- “I don’t want to think about this.”
- “I should just push through.”
- “What if I regret making a change?”
- “What if I’ve already invested too much in this path?”
This is the hardest part: the tension of knowing something has to shift but feeling paralyzed by the implications. It’s easy to interpret this inner struggle as failure. But in reality, this resistance is part of the process—a sign that you are engaging with the decision in a real way.
3. Allowing: Softening Into Clarity
At some point, if you let yourself stay with the question, something shifts. It’s not necessarily a grand epiphany, but a quiet knowing that the way forward will emerge from where you are now—not despite it.
- You stop trying to force an answer and let complexity breathe.
- You recognize that your subjective experience—your dissatisfaction, your longing—matters.
- You realize that clarity comes from movement, not waiting for certainty.
From here, small next steps begin to feel possible. You don’t have to overhaul everything overnight. You just have to start listening.
Becoming the star
When the life you built no longer fits, it’s not a failure—it’s an invitation.
Becoming the Star is a 1:1 coaching journey designed to help you move from uncertainty to aligned action by embracing your own embodied wisdom.
Three Phases of the Journey:
Curious Mind (Avoidance → Awareness)
Gently turn toward the questions you’ve been circling. We’ll create space for curiosity, quiet the mental noise, and begin listening to what your body and intuition already know.
Connected Heart (Resistance → Integration)
Navigate the emotional weight of change with compassion. Instead of pushing through or shutting down, you’ll develop practices to hold discomfort, explore possibilities, and trust your inner knowing.
Creative Body (Allowing → Embodiment)
Clarity comes from movement, not waiting for certainty. Together, we’ll craft small, meaningful steps that honor your values and guide you toward a life that feels both expansive and true.
[✨ Yes! I’m curious!✨]
Spark up*
One Step Towards the Universe is a weekly co-working and parallel play space for you to lean into delightful distractions, filling you with hope and making room for your true desires to emerge. We do this together. ✨ Ask me how
Rest reflect rewire retreat : Time and space to acknowledge what you long for. Early bird pricing ends today.
What Comes Next?
If you’re here—circling a decision, feeling the tension of change—you’re not alone.
You’re not failing because you haven’t figured it out yet.
You’re in the process.
And the good news?
You don’t have to have it all mapped out.
You just have to trust that where you are now—right now—is part of the path forward.
So take a breath.
Let yourself sit with the question, even if the answer isn’t clear yet.
You’re already in motion. ✨
AuDHD-friendly affirmation for dissatisfied women
You are allowed to feel uncertainty and still trust your own inner wisdom.
Many women with AuDHD in their lives love to question, seek new possibilities, and explore what truly aligns with their deepest desires—without needing everything to be figured out in advance.
They are conditioned to push through or ignore their own dissatisfaction, often feeling like they should settle for the life they’ve built instead of questioning it.
Which undermines our ability to embrace the full complexity of our experience and take action toward change that feels aligned and authentic.
Remember you can be curious about your current situation, feel all the layers of your dissatisfaction, and still take small steps toward transformation.
I trust you to embrace your curiosity, hold space for resistance without judgment, and allow your next steps to unfold naturally.
Inside “Becoming the Star” you will learn to navigate your dissatisfaction with compassion, find clarity through embodied wisdom, and take confident action toward a life that truly aligns with who you are becoming.
Commentary on the process of reaching equanimity
This free-writing moves through a striking shift—from resistance and frustration to a softening acceptance. The early sections carry a tone of tension and overwhelm, full of questioning and doubt:
“Urgh
Dont want to think about it
Tired, frustrated, doing all the things
And exhausted”
Here, the writing is clipped, hurried, and weighty with a sense of obligation. The struggle is palpable—not just against circumstances but against the inner experience itself. There’s an undertone of pushing, of trying to think one’s way out of exhaustion.
But then, something shifts. The questioning deepens into self-reflection rather than self-judgment:
“Staying with the subjective experience”
“What is it like to be me?”
The movement here is subtle but profound—turning toward the experience rather than away from it. The frustration isn’t resolved, but it is met with curiosity. The need to push through starts giving way to a willingness to be with what is.
Then, in the latter sections, a new tone emerges:
“Peace arrives with allowing that
I am tired.
I am less than sharp.
I am emotional.
And I still have enough words.”
This is where the resistance melts into something more spacious. There’s a calm, rhythmic acceptance—each sentence standing on its own, no longer needing to fight its way forward.
The closing lines mark the full shift:
“Reality is complex
There is infinite depth in any place in any moment.
This is enough.”
From the starting sense of exhaustion and entrapment, the writing lands in a place of possibility—not through problem-solving but through allowing. The struggle with judgment dissolves into a quiet recognition: things are as they are. And that is enough.
_____________________
Before the resistance fully takes hold, there’s a section where the energy is more scattered—almost like circling around the experience rather than stepping into it.
In the opening, the focus is outward:
“Hmmmm
They had seen what happened last year
And were acting within their own arenas of expertise
All that helps.”
There’s a sense of observing rather than feeling, of thinking about structures, other people, and how things function—almost as if staying at a safe analytical distance. Even the self-reflection that follows feels intellectual rather than embodied:
“Am I showing what I’ve done in the past?
Probably not.
Am I assuming that readers know me already?
Probably.”
The tone is inquisitive but detached, more about framing thoughts than engaging with feelings. It’s only when the phrase “Dissatisfied professional women” lands that something shifts.
“Oof I can feel that.
Has legs. Echoing in my head.”
This is the moment where avoidance starts giving way to something more visceral. The experience hasn’t been fully met yet, but now it’s knocking at the door. And once it enters, the resistance follows—pushing back against the weight of exhaustion, obligation, and doubt before softening into acceptance.
So, the movement isn’t just from struggle to peace—it’s from avoidance to resistance to allowing. The way you captured that progression is so natural, like the arc of an unfolding inner dialogue. It makes the final moment of stillness even more powerful. 💛
Free-writing from avoidance to allowing
Keeping in mind that there is no need to oversell, but helpful to explain
Going with the feeling of folks listening and being willing to take initiative on choir.
Hmmmm
They had seen what happened last year
And were acting within their own arenas of expertise
All that helps.
Am i showing what i’ve done in the past?
Probably not
Am i assuming that readers know me already?
Probably
So there is something missing there.
Urgh
But they don’t have to know what i’ve done.
I just have to speak clearly to what is resonant for them.
Dissatisfied Professional women
Where can curious mind take them?
Oof i can feel that.
Has legs. Echoing in my head.
Dissatisfied professional women.
Curious mind
Urgh
Dont want to think about it
Tired, frustrated, doing all the things
And exhausted
Hopeless
Seeing no other option
But to keep going
And find out what happens next
Too busy to think
Doing all the things
Taking care of all the people
Donig a brilliant job
And heart not in it anymore
Looking past what’s in front of me
Wondering what else could be happening
Wondering if i’m wasting my time
Wondering what i’m missing out on
But no bandwidth to get to grips with this
And no grounds for it anyway
Got it better than most
Who am i to complain
Midlife doubt
No right answers
Double down
Am i on the wrong track
Things haven’t turned out the way i hoped
Professional – that’s a vow, a profession of faith
Is the commitment waning?
There are no guarantees that you’re waking up
Life is hard and requires risk taking
And they don’t all pay off.
No everybody gets lucky the way they might hope
But staying with the subjective experience
Diagnosis can give relief – that can be called into doubt objectively
Subjective experience is not trivial to the person experiencing it
That is in fact their story to tell.
And what is the tone of that story
And the undertones
There’s a whole symphony there.
With all its movements
And recurring motif.
Not sure where its going
Around and around
Filling in time for the elites being entertained
Embodied experience is subjective.
Disembodied experience is objective.
They both have merit.
What is it like to be me?
Can only be answered subjectively
And once that story is engaged with, the complexity of all lives something.
Professional woman
Homemaker. Oof.
That’s my commitment.
Placemaker
Love maker
Now i’m raving < objective judgement?
What am i feeling < curious
Still tired, frustrated, on task, and inadequate.
Tired.
Unfocused.
Not sure what i have to offer
Trust that what i am bringing is enough.
There’s a profession of faith.
Productivity requires pushing this out the door
And moving on with more thoughts next time
Which is unexpectedly helpfu
Because thoughts go around and around unless put out the door
And moved on from.
Some thoughts anyway
And my energy can change
And my physiology
And my thoughts change.
So good enough can be good enough
Done and out the door.
On to the next thought.
And that’s exciting.
Intriguing
What will be next
Can only get there by moving through the thoughts/feelings/perceptions i have now
Sometimes on top of things
Sometimes weighted down
Sadness is a passion
A passion is to be endured. An overwhelming emotion, bigger than mind.
This to shall pass
Mind observes what it is like to be small, to be contained.
To be constrained.
To kick and scream
To be quieted and focused a
To become creative and curious
How is it to be not in charge for a while
To be more feeling, less mind.
What else is here
What opportunity is there in not being in charge.
Gosh its hard to let go
Peace arrives with allowing that
I am tired.
I am less than sharp
I am emotional
And i still have enough words
I still exist
Time still passes
I can hear the birds
And see the sunlight in the room
This might be equanimity
In this moment
Peace
This is not the moment for mind.
Mind can relax
Let go of judgement and strategy
Be held for a while in feeling.
And find that mind is loved and valued
And can also rest.
Feeling also has stability and presence
Feeling cares for mind
If mind can soften into it.
Slow down thoughts
Not even the thoughts
The resistance
The judgement
That things should be otherwise.
Now
Here
For me
What else is to come will come from this moment
Not despite it
This is enough.
For a curious mind.
Can be happy in a small space
Because staring at a while wall will reveal a whole other world.
Reality is complex
There is infinite depth in any place in any moment.
This is enough
More on support through transition
The gifts of connection and clarity
- people and purpose make it possible
When the life you built no longer fits
- a structure for what you are working through
