Neurodivergent women (and especially late diagnosed AuDHD women) have a unique perspective to offer and they are often (consciously or unconsciously) on a mission to share it.

We are deeply culturally conditioned by ableism to share conventional views and perspectives, and to speak from there first.  Because most people hold those mainstream ideas, we believe we need to be able to do that as well, in order to fit in.  

This attempt to give our weirdness a foundation in conventional mental frameworks is exhausting, and undermines our connection to what actually brings us joy.

 Truth is, access and accommodation for more of your quirks is essential to sustainable happiness.  

I suggest then that we allow others to believe their things without us always needing to fit right in/correct, which then gives us permission to find places and people that resonate with what feels true for us.  

The very first step of the process is to simply imagine turning away from working hard to fit in.

And this is all good, but what people mostly want to hear at this time of year is that the end is nigh and they can relax.   

There it is!   Tell “people” what they want to hear, not what i have to say, unmediated….

This week, I was reflecting on the idea, shared by my business mentor Katherine McKenzie-Smith in an online co-working session that “when I think i’m ready for a break, then I see a whole new list of things to do.”    

There is a quote from Hemingway (I believe) that says he wrote until he knew what he was going to write next.   And then took a break.   So when you get clear on what needs doing next, that is in fact the perfect time for a break.   Because you can come back with clear purpose and intention.  Thank you to my coach Ali Duffey for sharing that gem.

So in actual fact, that tension is a gift because it calls you back.  If you take a break when you don’t know what to do next, that’s a skill.  Trusting a lot in commitment / habit.    Hmmmmmm.

I frequently take a break when i don’t know what to do next.   Or i do know, but i don’t know how.

Hmmmmmm

In fact then when i take a break it likely means i know exactly what to do next but i don’t know how.

Or how well!!!!

WILD.

Dont have the energy, capacity etc.

Ok, back to work.  LOL

There’s something here about the ideas for the work getting ahead of the capacity for the work.

That is quite profound.  

Dissociation?

Imagination going ahead of immersion.

See the path.   On the path.   See the path ahead.

Having the experience.  Get carried away from the experience by expectation.

If that list of things is not energising and exciting itself.

Then a break is necessary to reenergise.   Possibly reassess.

That is such a powerful moment to notice, pause, celebrate.

There are all these things to do that I did not see before.

Number 1  I have therefore made progress!

Number 2  I can slow down to choose next energising step

Number 3  a break is always an option, because rest is an integral part of my work cycle.

Number 4  permission to do what I am able to complete now – it does not have to be perfect, or even good.  Done is gold.

Number 5  call in new resources to support me in meeting new vision

Further reading and resources:

Read on to learn about “The monster at the end of the book”.   ChatGPT generated content specifically for late diagnosed AuDHD women.

Recalibrate your life for joy: free audio guide supporting you to get clear on exactly what you need now.

LOVE MOVES US:  A self contained guided journey of rest, reflection and embodied self expression

Remember *The Monster at the End of This Book*?

Grover is so scared of the “monster” waiting at the end, begging us not to turn the pages. But when we finally get there, the “monster” is just him—perfectly lovable and a little flustered. Life can feel a lot like that sometimes. As we turn the pages, we worry about what’s ahead, fearing it might be overwhelming or even a little scary. But just like Grover, we find ourselves meeting new parts of ourselves, with the realization that it might not be so scary after all. 

For late-diagnosed AuDHD women, life can feel like there are all these new “monsters” to meet and understand. But every little step brings you closer to yourself, and these steps don’t have to be huge or life-changing—they’re about being curious, connected, and creative in ways that fit *you*.

Here are a few ideas for moving forward in gentle ways:

1. **For a Curious Mind**: Embrace your curiosity—even if it’s quirky, hyper-focused, or only makes sense to you. Dive into something you enjoy, whether it’s learning about a particular topic, watching a favorite show, or going down a rabbit hole of research. Curiosity is yours to explore in a way that’s just for you, no need to explain or justify it.

2. **For a Connected Heart**: Connection doesn’t mean big gatherings or constant socializing. It can be as simple as sharing a small moment with someone who “gets” you, or sending a quick message to a friend. Sometimes, it’s just about feeling connected to a memory, a favorite quote, or an object that brings you comfort. Small things count, and they’re more than enough.

3. **For a Creative Body**: Creativity doesn’t have to mean traditional art—it’s whatever lets your body feel like itself. This could be a comfy stretch, a dance break, or even a good wrap-up in your favorite blanket. Find a way to let your body feel alive without worrying about how it looks or whether it’s “productive.” Creativity is a way of expressing yourself, just as you are.

### Daily Practice Invitation

Each day, try to create one small mindful moment. It might be savoring a sip of tea, pausing to watch the sky, or taking a breath that feels grounding. This practice isn’t about adding another task—it’s a tiny moment for you to feel at home in yourself, just for a few seconds.

### Encouragement for Sensitive Readers

For those of you who feel deeply, know this: You don’t have to do it all at once. Every small step you take, however awkward or uncertain, is a step closer to the parts of yourself waiting to be seen and embraced. There’s no need to rush or explain yourself; the universe will meet you right where you are. Remember, you’re turning the pages in your own time, and that’s more than enough.

Further reading and resources:

Read on to experience One Step Towards the Universe, an original OOREI process poem captured by Rachael Skyring, a late diagnosed AuDHD woman.

Recalibrate your life for Joy: free audio guide supporting you to get clear on exactly what you need now.

LOVE MOVES US:  A self contained guided journey of rest, reflection and embodied self expression

One step towards the universe

One small step never seems like enough.

Not worth moving for one step

The universe is so big

Who would notice.  What difference would it make

Really?   One step is enough

I find that hard to believe

The universe is big and heavy and vast

And i’m already in it

It doens’t even have a centre

Why am i arguing

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

Brings me closer to the monster at the end of hte book

That’s the truth isnt it.  LOL

Monsters are scary.  Until they’re not.

I wanted a very luxe plush monster once upon a time

The monster at the end of the book

Hmmmm  well that would be death i suppose

That’s the real monster here

Obliviion.   Lost in infinity

I’m afraid to move.

What if i do the wrong thing

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

Dont be ridiculous.  

Who’s being ridiculous.

Now i’m confused again

I lose my sense of who’s speaking in this process

The repetition brings up a lot of resistance

I will NOT.  I will not be marched into something against my will

I WILL not.  I will not do what you tell me to do

Yelling is not going to help

I don’t care.  I don’t have to do it.

I don’t have to do anything.  Is that true?

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

Ok.  great.  I love it when i can say no first.

Now i can think.  I wonder if there is an easier way to here/hear.

The repetition makes it a little more impersonal

It’s not directed at me particularly

It’s echoing around.  Oh, echo.  And narcissus.

Narcissus says nothing.   Echo calls.

Fear of falling into the pond of reflection.

Which way to take that step.

Away from the pond of reflection i suppose.

That is a useful fear.

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

Ok.  so figured out which way to step.

Away from self absorption towards action

I love that it’s only one step.

The first step is so often the hardest

Even turning away from the pond is a challenge

Listening to echo, the voice of love, of a broken heart.

Gosh, did i cry that pond full of water

Is it my heart that’s broken

Ok.  enough for now.

You know what?  I feel ok

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

Ok.  enough tears.  Enough self reflection.

Take a step in the direction of love.

I can feel it now, warm and kind.

Calling me home.

It’s been here all along, waiting for me

Patiently.  Dancing.  Growing.  Evolving.

Wow.  it’s amazing.  My eyes are opening.

I feel my body soften.  My gaze soften.

I can breathe.  I can smile.  I have time

I have time!  There are kind people waiting for me

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

What should i do?   What do i bring?

Yes, i know i bring myself and that’s enough.

But what does that mean?  

How can i be enough?

Ok.   One step.  Which way again?

Towards what calls me, now.

Is that joy?  Love?   Warmth?  Connection?

Contentment?  Laughter?  Hugs when i’m sad

That’s a lot.  One step. One step.

Not all of that.  One step.

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

Ok.   great.  Do less.  One step.   Accept less.

Capacity.  Small capacity.  One step.  One smile.

One positive thought.  One positive thought.

Yes, i can do this.   One positive thought at a time

Choose positive thinking.   Not toxic positivity.

Simply.  YES.  that is where I am at.

One positive thought.  Yes I am here

Yes I am confused.  Yes I am here.  Yes i am breathing.

Wild.  I am arriving more with every yes.

Yes i am here.  Yes i am breathing.

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

Yes i can feel the breeze.  Yes i can hear the thunder.

Yes i have filled a page.  Yes I can hear the clock ticking

Yes i’m uncomfortable and awkward.

Yes I am lost for words.

Yes.  I am here.  I am breathing.  I am feeling.  I am thinking

Yes.  what is here with me?

Curiosity!  Yes to that.  Yes i am here.  

Yes I am not alone.  Yes there is stuff here

And people too i imagine.

Yes it’s ok to start with the stuff.

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

There are a lot of humans.  

And they are not the whole universe

Yes it’s ok to start with things and 

Yes there are a lot of things

Yes it’s ok to start with the sound of the wind in the trees

Yes the cool breeze on my skin

Yes the window rattles.  Yes the clock ticks.

Affirmation.  Validation.  Yes yes yes.

Electric!  The mechanical alarm shocks me

Yes i am here.  I have taken one step.

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE

I didn’t know where i was going

Except there was a conversation

A conversation between my experience

And the outside world.

Look outward.  Listen outward.  Feel outward.

Resistance, fear showed up first.

Awkward, ugly, irrational.

Sadness and departure.

Possibility.  Reality.  Movement.

Life.  Love.  Warmth.

ONE STEP TOWARDS THE UNIVERSE.

GhatGPT prompt:

Transform the poem above into a relatable everyday embodiment encouragement blog for late diagnosed AuDHD women. Use my friendly, slightly awkward tone of voice. Open with a simple analogy between the monster at the end of the book and life. Include one suggestion for curious mind, one for connected heart and one for creative body. Outline one daily practice invitation. Close with encouragement for sensitive readers.

Output:  “the monster at the end of the book.”

Resources to support your further exploration:

Recalibrate your life for joy: free audio guide supporting you to get clear on exactly what you need now.

LOVE MOVES US:  A self contained guided journey of rest, reflection and embodied self expression