Hey wisewoman

This week I am reflecting on three books, one of which I have actually read, the other two only started.  (The great thing about non fiction books is that the introduction usually contains an outline of the whole, so i can form an opinion before committing)

I also invite you to learn more about my 1:1 embodiment coaching program, Freeing the Invisible Woman.  Enrolment is open now for 8 person August cohort.

The Creation of Feminist Consciousness by Gerda Lerner is book two in a series that began with The Creation of Patriarchy.  The general argument of the series, (written and published in the decade from 1980-1990) is that the subordination of women is a historical process and thus can be undone by historical, real time work and awareness.  

The first book of the series outlines a theory of how women in ancient times, from pre recorded history forward, were the first humans to be rendered second class, initially in the real world of work, and ultimately, possibly most devastatingly, in the inner realm of direct connection with innate value and purpose.

The second book goes on to explain the painful process, over centuries, of women slowly slowly reclaiming their sense of equality and value, so that from the late nineteenth century up to the present historical moment, women have been able to organise collectively to agitate for access to power and resources necessary for their thriving.

From the conclusion:

Feminist consciousness consists  

1. Of the awareness of women that they belong to a subordinate group and that, as member of such a group, they have suffered wrongs;

2. The recognition that their condition of subordination is not natural, but societally determined;

3. The development of a sense of sisterhood [/ solidarity. Thank you KD]

4. The autonomous determination by women of their goals and strategies for changing their condition;

5. The development of an alternate vision of the future

The second book on my radar this week is Mindset: changing the way you think to fulful your potential by Carol Dweck, famous for the comparison of growth vs fixed mindsets, and the suggestion that growth mindset is desirable and expansive, where fixed mindset is limiting and to be avoided.  That is definitely an oversimplification of the content/premise (I’ve only read the first ten percent so far, waiting for my copy to arrive from the library).  

What I know is that I had a visceral reaction against the push toward try harder, do more that I was reading about in the opening chapters.  I am so tired of trying harder and doing more in my life.  I want there to be another way.  

These days, when I feel that “try harder” thing, I take a breath and remember that there is also “try different”.   I hope that is is the actual message of the book (when I’ve read it i’ll let you know – and spoilers welcome from those of you who have been there already)

Habitual “try harder” in response to challenge is a fixed behavioural mindset.   For some of us, capable problem solvers who want to get things sorted and can see a path to make it happen if we just put in some extra effort, that’s the go to reaction.   For us, growth mindset means noticing that habit and then making some space to find a different way forward – on your own terms, rather than measuring up to prescribed hero performance.  

Habitual effort and focus on problem solving might be a neurodivergent trait.  

Fixed creative thinking masking our perceived inadequacies of sketchy consistency and recall.  So we need gentle strengthening and reinforcement of the value of doing the same thing over and over and over again.  Practice, in other words.

Finally, The future of nostalgia by Svetlana Bohm is a book about longing for what never was.   I’ve only read a couple of chapters, but am determined to persist.  I am not finding it an easy read because the content seems nebulous, while being analysed in detail.   I think what makes me uncomfortable is the lack of judgement from the author, who describes aspects of nostalgia calmly, almost indifferently.    I notice that I am expecting an opinion one way or the other, and most likely against nostalgia.   All of which points back at my own unexamined

ambivalence towards longing for what never was.

I have tended to judge nostalgia as a backward looking, indulgent waste of time, whereas “longing for what never was” could equally be seen as hopeful and imaginative, a source of creativity going forward.  Since “never was” does not necessarily imply impossible, or “can never be”.  It only means it hasn’t happened yet, to my/our knowledge.

Nostalgia could be considered ahistorical, even the complement of history.  Spirit or zeitgeist perhaps.  There is a dreamlike, mythological feel to it – rose coloured glasses.  There is a sense of unmet potential, of what could have been.  Which can be a downer, since the actual past is gone, that opportunity missed, or crisis averted.

Perhaps we can reframe that missed opportunity (or crisis averted) not as a failure (or success) but as a foundational learning experience from which we have gained wisdom and survival skills.  And thus separate the lesson from the longing.

Then the longing remains

for us to make peace with and space for.

The longing for space for what never was.

The longing for peace with growth and expansion on our own terms.

The longing for the time when there is equitable access to rest, resources and power for all, including women and other marginalised groups.

…

If you’re still reading, then you are already on the path of following that longing wherever it leads.

You are already a courageous seeker of wisdom and truth who knows how to follow your heart without losing your head.

I believe that you are already and always enough.

I believe that every choice you make is the right one for you in that time and place and state.

I believe that everybody should be able to follow the path that lights them up with joy.

And mostly I believe that we create a brighter future together, in solidarity and sisterhood.

Curious to learn more about how you and I could work together?

I invite you to check out Freeing the Invisible Woman, my 13 week, 1:1 embodiment coaching program enabling you to claim the audacious freedom of following the path that lights you up with joy.

I look forward to hearing your side of the story on a free discovery call.