Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate, and for many mothers—especially those with AuDHD in their lives—it can also bring a complex swirl of emotions, possibly hidden under awkward indifference. Longing for recognition, yet feeling that a single heavily commercialised day is a very token acknowledgement.
In a culture that measures success in productivity and financial independence, choosing income limited care work can feel like an act of rebellion, even when it’s born of love. Motherhood is essential work, yet it is chronically undervalued, invisible, and often dismissed. It’s easy to feel trapped between giving endlessly and being seen as ‘not enough.’
It’s a paradox: Being a rock on which the ocean breaks—steadfast, reliable, always there—and yet also feeling swept away, overrun, or submerged by the tide of needs, emotions, and expectations. To model stability and consistency until it seems that’s all you are, only to break into silent jagged pieces. And still you’re often the one who makes peace, who carries on, who regains steadiness when everything else feels chaotic.
And it’s not just about the children. The world is not always kind to mothers, especially neurodivergent ones. Communication struggles can be constant—you can’t always simply speak and be heard. Showing up can become a quiet performance, holding it together, acting calm and responsible because you care so deeply. Caring so deeply that you feel you must be the one to remain steadfast, even when your own needs are pushed aside.
But here’s the other side of the paradox: Joy is still possible. Lightness is still yours. It’s not about denying the struggle but about reclaiming your right to play, to wonder, to feel, and to grow beyond being just a source of stability for others. Your joy doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s—least of all like the polished, Pinterest-perfect images of motherhood. Your joy is your own to claim and nurture on your own terms. It’s waiting for you now.
✨ Curious Mind: Notice when you’re judging yourself harshly. Ask yourself: Whose voice is this? Does it actually help?
❤️ Connected Heart: Remember a moment when you felt genuinely seen, heard, or loved—whether by your child, a friend, or even yourself. Hold that feeling for a few breaths.
🌱 Creative Body: Try a tiny experiment in saying ‘no’ to something you don’t want to do. Notice how it feels. What shifts?
Recalibrate your life for joy
This Mother’s Day, take a moment to pause—just for you.
🌊✨
Hold both the rock of your steady love and the ocean of your ever-shifting emotions.
Somewhere between them is the secret third thing you need now—
your own joy, waiting to be reclaimed.
Inside ‘Recalibrate Your Life for Joy,’ you can explore that space gently, on your own terms.
[✨ This way✨]
Spark up*
- One step towards the universe A warm and welcoming meeting place to connect with sincere women working on what matters most to them. Online co-working / parallel play space.
- Showing up and sharing stories Daring to share from your heart about experience and hopes and dreams with another human brings them closer. Laila Atmane, writer and TRE instructor, joins me for a warm and encouraging conversation. Podcast episode
- When a woman dreams Find yourself in this artist illustrated short story of the ups and downs, ins and outs of life. Free PDF download.
✨ An Invitation to Wonder
Remember a radiant moment of presence and power in your life.
Maybe it was a quiet hug at the right moment,
a laugh shared with your child, or
a time you were simply there when someone needed you.
What would it be like to let yourself fully receive that moment again?
Dear Sensitive Soul 💛
you do not have to be anything other than you are.
You don’t have to fix yourself, perfect yourself, or perform joy.
You are allowed to be messy, complicated, and growing.
If some of the suggestions above resonate, explore them.
If not, feel free to let them go.
Without a true ‘no,’ you will never feel your true ‘yes.’
And if there is one small thing you can act on,
trust yourself to take that step in your own time.
🐢💃✨
This is my Mother’s Day wish for you:
That you can be both
the rock and the ocean,
strong and light,
steady and free.
🌊🌱❤️✨💖
AuDHD-friendly Affirmation for complex Mothers
Many mothers love to give generously, endlessly, and often without being asked.
They are conditioned to believe their worth is measured by how much they sacrifice.
Which undermines our ability to recognize our own needs without guilt.
Remember you can pause and choose yourself without losing your love for others.
I trust you to know when enough is enough—for you.
Inside Recalibrate Your Life for Joy, you’ll find space to reconnect with what lights you up, even in the midst of everything else.
Notes on being a Mother with AuDHD in her life
Duality of being a mother with AuDHD
To be a rock on which the ocean breaks
And be unmoved
And be covered
And revealed by the tide
To model stability and consistency
Until you think it’s all you’ve ever been
To remember lightness and joy
And the humbling of being embraced when you’re wrong again
Struggles of communication
Can’t expect to simply speak and be heard
Showing up
Showing up
Showing up
Showing up
Being there
Holding it together
Acting normal
Caring deeply
Caring so deeply you can act calm, responsible, reliable.
I’m the problem it’s me
Folks queue up for other coaches with same training
That hurts
I have no clients
Never have
What is that?
Actually that’s not entirely true
I had one amazing client
Thank you Ellen
Mother with AuDHD in her life
Able to be herself
There is something here about caring deeply
What story was I thinking to tell?
Oh yes, that I was a mess until I wasn’t
Binge drinking gutter mouth
One of the boys
Until I was pregnant
Just stopped
It’s been good for me
Oof
Living day to day
Year to year
And also
That’s extreme
I’m the only person in my family with diagnosed AuDHD
and I don’t think I’m the only person gifted with neurodivergence.
And at the same time i am so reluctant to say that motherhood has been good for me
Because i think i’ll be lumped with the trad wives.
I have learned a lot from my children
Proximity to them
Feeling with them
I wish i’d learned earlier to manage my own emotions better
Rather than suppressing and denying them
I stayed sane for many years through nigh obsessive exercise and training
Which was also good for me in many ways
And in others kept me distanced from my feelings.
Duality of motherhood is something about no longer being the end of the line.
The centre
The last generation.
As a mother, i’m in the middle.
Caring for others as well as i’m able
Often relinquishing my own need for ongoing care.
Remaining functional
Expecting little
Giving lots
Overperforming.
Urgh
Now that my children are older, young adults, my life is shifting again.
Meonopause
Wondering if it’s all been worth it.
Oof
The most satisfying work of my life has been at home with my children
And i have been fortunate enough to be able to do that full time for many years.
Betrayal of the sisterhood
Because i should be financially independent
I have worked for equity instead.
Care work is undervalued and essential.
Donkey work.
Now i’m ready to show up on my terms, unicorn like bringing contentment and joy to those who need it most
This is my mother’s day wish for you.
More on the power in duality
