Embracing the Edge of Discomfort
Sometimes, the sharp sting of difference catches us off guard. A small comment, a contrasting opinion, or even a shift in routine can spark an immediate internal protest—a sense of conflict we might not fully understand. That discomfort? It’s not a flaw to fix. It’s an opening. Negative feelings, especially around difference, can act as a portal to deeper empathy, inviting us to connect in ways we never expected.
Empathy isn’t always soft or easy. It often emerges from the very places that feel the most uncomfortable. When we stay present with our own difficult emotions—hurt, frustration, defensiveness—we build the capacity to recognize those same emotions in others. What if the moments we feel the most distant from someone else are actually invitations to step closer? Leaning into discomfort with curiosity can transform what feels like a divide into a bridge, helping us see the shared humanity beneath the surface.
Curious Mind 🧠
Notice your instinctive reaction to something unfamiliar today. Before judgment sets in, pause and ask: What if I assumed this difference had something to teach me? No need to force a conclusion—just let the question linger.
Connected Heart ❤️
Difference can feel personal. If you find yourself feeling defensive or distant, try grounding yourself with a simple self-compassion phrase: It makes sense that this is hard. I can stay here anyway. Connection doesn’t require agreement, just presence.
Creative Body 🎨
Change how you move through your space today. Sit somewhere new, take a different route, or wear an unexpected color. Small, intentional shifts in physical space can help your nervous system practice experiencing difference without alarm.
Love Moves Us
A guided journey of words and movement, inviting you to explore the seed of difference with curiosity and care.
Through gentle inquiry and embodied practice, discover how love shapes the way we meet, hold, and move through what sets us apart.
[✨ Learn more✨]
Spark up*
- Rest, reflect, rewire retreat Early bird pricing available now. A few days standing outside your regular life, to understand what’s most essential (and maybe missing) inside.
- Sinking into AuDHD-friendly Success Feel alive and excited about what’s next for you, if you dare.
A Moment to Notice 👀
When was the last time you felt an unexpected moment of connection with someone different from you?
What allowed that moment to happen?
(Feel free to hit reply and share if something comes to mind. Your reflections might spark something for someone else!)
Gentle Encouragement 💛
There is no right way to engage with this.
If these ideas don’t sit well, that’s useful information too.
Not every bridge needs to be crossed today.
It is okay to say no.
In fact, feeling your real “no” is often what makes space for a true “yes.”
Your path, your timing.
Always.
Whatever you feel is okay.
AuDHD-friendly affirmation for awkward women
Many women with AuDHD in their lives effortlessly generate awkward moments of difference.
They are conditioned to avoid, swallow and smooth over potential conflict to keep everybody else feeling comfortable.
Which undermines their ability to access the human potential in respectful conflict resolution.
Remember you can choose to hold your ground with kindness, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.
I trust you to meet conflict and misunderstanding with patience and grace for yourself, as well as others
LOVE MOVES US can support you in expressing and exploring that powerful seed of discontent.
AI notes on discomfort and articles on conflict
R: Empathy begins at the edge of discomfort is a cracker subject.
Is that true do you think?
I think there’s a deep truth in it, but like all truths, it has nuance. Discomfort can be a doorway to empathy, but only if we choose to engage with it rather than retreat from it. Sometimes, discomfort just leads to more defensiveness or avoidance. But when we meet it with curiosity and presence, it can absolutely expand our capacity to understand and connect. What do you think?
R: but if we always retreat from discomfort, then we get good vibes only going on. which negates a large part of human experience.
Exactly! If we avoid discomfort entirely, we end up with a shallow, “good vibes only” approach that disconnects us from reality. Discomfort is part of being human—it signals growth, boundary-setting, and the complexity of real connection. Avoiding it can feel safe in the short term, but in the long run, it limits our ability to engage deeply with ourselves and others.
Your piece does a beautiful job of holding that tension—acknowledging that discomfort isn’t inherently good or bad, but it can be an invitation to something meaningful if we’re open to it.
R: urgh. the skill is always sitting with it. anyway, that’s why skill is hard right
Yep, exactly. Sitting with discomfort without immediately trying to fix, justify, or escape it—that’s the real skill. And it’s hard because it asks us to stay open when everything in us wants to close. But that’s also where depth, connection, and even transformation happen. No shortcuts, just practice. 💛
Anti-racism resources
Say something in the moment
https://www.sunshinecoast.qld.gov.au/living-and-community/community-support/shine-a-light-on-racism
pledge/commit, learn, celebrate!
https://theconversation.com/heads-vs-tails-a-simple-coin-flip-can-be-enough-to-change-how-we-treat-others-249611?utm_medium=article_native_share&utm_source=theconversation.com
Detecting a difference often comes with a conflict signal in the brain, and may come with negative emotions. Sameness with another person may hence lead to a more favourable treatment.
https://theconversation.com/we-interviewed-hundreds-of-israelis-and-gazans-heres-why-we-fear-for-the-ceasefire-249522?utm_medium=article_native_share&utm_source=theconversation.com
Palestinians and Israelis said that attacks from their side were more motivated by what psychologists call “ingroup love” (care and concern for their own people) than by “outgroup hate” (passionate dislike of the other side). Yet both Israelis and Palestinians thought that the other side’s violence was more motivated by hatred.
most Israelis and Palestinians believed that the other side intended to commit genocide.
Perceived outgroup hate weakens their ability to recruit popular support for peace and strengthens the hand of spoilers.
The risk now lies in a too narrow focus among current decision-makers – a delegitimised and fragmented Palestinian leadership, an infighting Israeli government, and a transaction-minded administration in Washington – seeking to secure political deals that deliver results on paper.
For the ceasefire to endure, the policy focus will need to shift to bridging a deeper psychological divide.
Collaboration begins with empathy
other posts in this seasonal series.
Envy, merit & the myth of earning worth – competition can create artificial isolation
Feeling with, not fixing – sitting in companionable uncertainty creates space for connection
I don wanna (and other hidden invitations) – welcoming resistance allows energy shift and equitable redistribution
Shame is the lie. Let’s act like it.
– refusing the lie of shame and failure makes something challenging possible.
Also, my about page
Where i try to explain where I’m coming from with this collective, collaborative idea.
