Waiting in Uncertain Silence
Silence can feel like an ache, like a space demanding to be filled. But what if we let it be? When we wait in uncertain silence, we create room for others to feel what they feel—without rushing in to fix or reframe. This is not passivity; it’s presence. A quiet, open kind of being-with.
Sitting in the unknown, not having the answers, allowing the moment to unfold—this can feel deeply uncomfortable, especially when you’re wired for seeking, understanding, and solving. But silence is not absence. It is connection without clutter. It is the space where trust and possibility grow.
A Curious Mind: The Wisdom of Not Knowing
Instead of searching for answers, try noticing what happens when you hold a question open. What shifts when you say, “I don’t know yet”—and allow that to be true?
A Connected Heart: Feeling With, Not For
Empathy isn’t about absorbing or fixing someone else’s emotions. What happens when you simply witness—being alongside rather than rushing to help?
A Creative Body: The Shape of Silence
Try embodying silence in movement. How does it feel to pause between gestures, to let your breath settle before the next inhale? Explore the rhythm of stillness and motion.
Recalibrate for AuDHD-Friendly Joy
A free audio supporting you to sit with your own emotions in structured silence,
to discover the wisdom that emerges into that sacred space.
Allow yourself the time to listen inward and feel the truth of what arises.
[✨ Listen now✨]
Spark up*
-
Rest, reflect, rewire retreat coming up in May. Holding a potent space for you to reconnect with what is most essential in your life, amidst all the noise. Early bird enrolment open now.
-
Shall we make a Podcast? A conversation like no other. The power of interpretive dance with Sophie Guy, Founder of True Nature Coaching. Listen now
A Moment to Notice: The Space Between
Notice the invisible threads between you and the people around you—the unspoken understanding, the energy exchanged in glances, in pauses, in breath.
What happens when you trust that connection, even when words are few?
✨ Have you ever felt deeply connected to someone without speaking?
What did that moment feel like?
Encouragement for Sensitive Souls
You don’t have to take in all of this.
You don’t have to try or change or “do better.”
You get to say no to every suggestion here if they don’t feel right for you.
Because without real no’s, you won’t feel your true yes.
And that yes—when it comes—will be fully yours.
Waiting in uncertain silence is not about getting it right.
It’s about making space.
And you?
You are already enough, exactly as you are. 💛
AuDHD-friendly affirmation for silent women
Many women with AuDHD in their lives are deeply empathetic silent listeners/subtle signs readers
They are conditioned to fill awkward gaps in conversation with words of positive assurance or dramatic criticism, often revealing more of their inner experience than feels comfortable or even true.
Which undermines our ability to hold others sensitively in their vulnerable moments.
Remember you can choose any combination of silence, self disclosure and/or assurance in any moment.
I trust your ability to perceive and respond authentically to the deeper needs of others, while maintaining self respect and kindness.
Recalibrate your life for AuDHD-friendly joy guides you to tune into and satisfy your own deeper needs, enabling you to feel more self assured in responding to unspoken requests of others.
Notes on waiting in silence and some awkward moments
wait in uncertain silence
We be this together.
We do this as we gather.
– poetry from the inimitable Yolanda Sokiri, from her current offering “The Nile Within“
The thoughts below arrived with me as I moved through my various circles this week.
WAIT IN SILENCE!
instruction given – underlined, in all caps, after asking a direct question to potential volunteers.
I had a giggle, because I’d been looking at those words wondering how they fitted into the script.
Oh! that instruction is for me! LOL
Ask the question, then wait – in silence – for the answer. There’s such a craving to fill silences with words, especially when we’re making an ask.
Also, my reflections on my delightful conversation with Sophie Guy evoked a similar response in me. There were moments there where silence might have been more potent than words.
And that is one of the conscious practices I bring as a coach. Silence and listening. A place where I can finally get out of my own way and make space for another human being to make their own discoveries. to feel their own feelings. With the security of company, without the burden of reciprocity, or needing to match my feelings to those of another.
I think I can bring more of that to my conversations, and we’ll both be richer for it. Grateful to Sophie for her confidence and willingness to show up boldly and hold me in conversation while i’m still learning.
Finally, I became aware this week that I was feeling very very stretched and tired.
Unsustainable.
Eventually, i remembered to take my own medicine, Recalibrate life for AuDHD friendly joy. to break the tension, although i did not realise that at the time.
Less holding tension was my first note.
That’s love letter to me.
I wanted reassurance. That it was ok to be a believer. I listened to the Monkees song. by the end, in less than three minutes, I was dancing in my chair with it.
Believe in her. Believe her!
I did some art. Neurographic drawing. ink and watercolour. beautiful. Will be sharing that on retreat. for sure.
Finally, I recognised the the only assurance I could honestly accept, is that it is ok to feel what I feel.
There are no wrong / immoral feelings. Actions yes, but feelings are amoral.
Tension dissolving. Enjoying all the feelings. It’s ongoing.
Waiting in uncertain silence to receive the message is hard work.
Not impossible
And a learnable skill.
Recalibrate for joy can support you too, in waiting in uncomfortable, uncertain silence.
Heart of empathy
Begin by listening
Feeling with, not for
In uncertain silence – open silence
The not knowing is the key
Like a frog, emotion/feeling jumps unpredictable ways
One person to hold me in silence
Two people
We be this together
We do this when we gather
Complex energy flow of information and emotion between beings.
Trust that what is needed and available is present.
More than the sum of the parts.
The space between is what connects us
Because we need to communicate across that space, those differences.
and to be supported across all of it – by a range of people as well.
Not to expect one person to handle all of me.
That is an unreasonable expectation.
Responsibility to develop a support network that matches my range
Over time, as I become aware of my needs.
Collaboration begins with empathy
other posts in this seasonal series.
other posts in this seasonal series.
Envy, merit & the myth of earning worth – competition can create artificial isolation
Feeling with, not fixing – sitting in companionable uncertainty creates space for connection
I don wanna (and other hidden invitations) – welcoming resistance allows energy shift and equitable redistribution
Shame is the lie. Let’s act like it.
– refusing the lie of shame and failure makes something challenging possible.
Also, my about page
Where i try to explain where I’m coming from with this collective, collaborative idea.
