The Boldness of Softening
Softening into each moment can feel like the boldest act of all. When life changes around us, it’s easy to brace, to tighten, to resist. We hold ourselves still, waiting for the discomfort to pass. But what if—just for a moment—we let ourselves melt into the present? Not forcing, not fixing, but simply allowing this new space to become more familiar.
Ironically, this softness makes change easier. Rigidity is what keeps us stuck in the fearful aspects of the status quo. When we can be here, now—recognizing the familiar elements, the little anchors of safety—we create a gentler path forward. There’s no rush. No pressure. Just a quiet invitation to melt what you can, as much as you’re willing and able. And no matter what, it’s enough.
The Audacity of Contentment
There’s something almost radical about embracing the idea that “good enough” is…well, good enough. We’ve been conditioned to believe there’s always more to do, more to achieve, more ways to improve. But what if we let ourselves pause?
Contentment isn’t the end of growth—it’s the foundation that allows true connection. When we settle into what is, we stop frantically chasing after what isn’t. We begin to recognize our own capacity and honor it. And from that place of acceptance, we can reach out, knowing we don’t have to do everything alone.
It’s in this grounded space that we can make room for others, for collaboration, for community. Being present in our own skin—no more, no less—becomes an act of courage. And it doesn’t require us to apologize or justify ourselves. We are here. We are enough.
Mind, Heart, and Body Practices
For your curious mind: Imagine saying, “No, I can’t do that today,” in a situation where you might usually push yourself to comply.
For your connected heart: Feel into the possibility of receiving assistance before you reach your limit.
For your creative body: Experiment with a movement practice that feels indulgent rather than productive—stretch, sway, or simply breathe deeply.
Sinking into AuDHD Success
offers gentle encouragement and practical steps to help you shift into this space of audacious contentment. This audio guide is a companion for those moments when softening feels like a challenge, helping you embrace your place and pace with kindness.
[✨ Start here✨]
Spark up*
- Last week to enroll in February 2025 cohort of Embodying Hope 1:1 coaching program
– start now and build with the year
– (IMHO February is the new Janaury + Lunar New Year 29 Jan)
– Next round begins in August - Recalibrate for AuDHD joy free audio guide to get clear on what you need now.
A Moment to Notice
Right now, take a breath and ask yourself: What if I am already enough? Feel how your body responds to that thought. Does it resist, soften, or hold curiosity?
I’d love to hear—what does “good enough” evoke for you today?
Encouragement for Sensitive Souls
Dear one, contentment doesn’t mean settling for less. It means honoring where you are, trusting your pace, and following your wonderings without the weight of needing to be fixed. You are not a project; you are a person, evolving in your own perfect time.
So stay open. Stay curious. And remember, whatever you choose to melt into today, it’s enough.
Affirmation for quietly content AuDHD women
Many AuDHD women can be quite content performing simple generative tasks, allowing their mind to wander freely.
They are conditioned instead to force their mind to perform repetitive tasks, generating unrecognised benefits for others.
Which undermines our ability to think and feel freely for ourselves.
Remember you don’t have to be operating at the (lower) limit of your mental abilities all the time, in order to keep others happy.
I trust you with your own brilliance. I believe you can very quickly tune in to what would feel most spacious and rewarding for you in any moment, given time to breathe. That’s exactly the guidance you’ll find in Sinking into AuDHD Success.
My inside story of reaching audacious contentment
Watch my thinking to shift from effortful angst to contented audacity in a few hundred words.
Beginning: Embracing the Process
I’m trying really hard to live this cycle: grow, shift, soften, pause. Over and over again. To feel enough in all the phases and stages. To allow myself to bring what I can to each different situation—even if that sometimes means bringing the same thing until I can figure out what else is needed.
Observation, listening, feeling for what is possible—this is how I find my way. But social imagination moves much slower than logic suggests. And sometimes much faster.
Self-acceptance in each situation is grounding. It’s the only place to learn from. And being surrounded by others who can hold you as you show up and learn? That’s the real gift.
Middle: Words as Play, Order as Disruption
Gratitude, dear reader, for braving the wilds of my undomesticated wording. And yes, wording—not writing, which tends to come with a genre, a structure. Words are tools, playthings, to be learned and used in functional ways. But also in counter-cultural ways, which can feel awkward and uncomfortable.
I’ve been reading about play, about social imagination—a challenge for many neurodivergent folks because it’s not strictly logical. Sometimes we prefer to gather and sort things rather than using them as their form suggests. Maybe that’s why I’m a librarian, intrigued by how people use books in ways other than reading.
Books are for reading, yes. But in the right conditions, they could be for burning—for warmth, for survival. Thank you, Terry Pratchett, and the witches who remind us that function is fluid.
I sort books collected by an institution so others can find them. Yet it’s remarkable when a child sorts things by color or shape instead of using them as expected. That desire for order stands out amidst everyday chaos. Or perhaps it’s chaos that stands out from order. Either way, opposites disrupt and complement.
End: The Path of Open-Ended Thinking
I’ve lost my way here. And gosh, what a helpful sentence that is. In other words, I’m not sure I could have gotten here if I tried to follow a set path. Or rather, I can’t remember or repeat the way I arrived.
Where is here? This state of following thoughts without a conscious endpoint. Open-ended thinking, wording, one word after another. Predictive text only offers me “another day, another day,” but I choose to trust that I’m in the right place.
I often walk into the kitchen and forget why I’m there. The secret? Soften and breathe. Trust I arrived intentionally. I set out reflecting on the audacity of contentment—what it looks like to live from there. And now I find myself invited to trust that I’m enough, that my open-ended thinking is enough.
Reading Tyson Yunkaporta’s Right Story, Wrong Story, I’m inspired by his weaving of thoughts with different interlocutors. Meanwhile, Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time reminds me that many books could have been published with blank pages for the number of people who actually read them.
And yet, books perform many roles without being read—from doorstop to signifier of cool and clever. Ironically, these are complements of what thoughtful reading might produce: opening doors, actual calm and competence.
I swoop through an open sky of possibilities. And wherever I find myself, there I am.
It’s enough to begin.
Wandering mind writing "the audacity of contentment"
(OOREI form made up by slam poet Beau Sia)
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
Good enough for government work
Done enough for now
Leave space for others
Limit my range
Enough with the self improvement
Enough already. You’re good enough for now
Contentment is not the end
It’s the place from which connection begins
Lol the unions know something about it
Demarcation. I do this, you do that.
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
In a world where you can do anything
We start to think we need to do everything
What i say no to matters
Thank you steve jobs
Base self in comfort zone with humility
This much i can do and no more
Allows me to reach out in bold peace
Seeking others who can help fulfil my shortcomings
Makes community possible, essential
Strong awareness of current capacity invites connection
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
Sitting in it now. Good enough
good enough good enough and I want more
Resolves the paradox of more
I am/do/have me, and you are/do/have you
Enables connection without loss of self
Because i can return to contentment every time
No matter what i feel when i land there
Content to feel a wide range of emotions
When i feel sad, i cry and collapse
And allow it to pass. And i remain, content.
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
My goodness. I can feel the bold challenge this presents
Means there is a limit to retreat.
I can retreat to my own skin
But no further, without undermining contentment
That is a challenge for me too
Retreat no further than my own skin
Requires me to take up that much space
And to hold space between us for outreach
Requires me to be as big as myself
Present in my skin. At my surface
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
No apology required. Good enough.
Simply silent waiting for response.
There is no urgency.
The next message is coming.
Serenity is so irritating!
Frustration boils up. This too is welcome.
Immovable. Buddha smile.
Mona lisa? No performance required
I am here. In my place.
I have returned. I will not leave me alone again
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
Discontent is necessary to appreciate
The struggle, the enforcement, the resistance
Dares to play gently at the precipice
Because peace is within
Inner peace! Ah po, flowing with the water
Time is up. What do i have to share?
I am content to have struggled.
I am content to struggle no longer
Be all the things, but not everything.
One thing at a time is enough.
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
Wherever you find yourself,
There you are.
Hello me. You’re looking fine.
Now, how to amuse them today
What needs doing that i can do
Whatever i do will be ultimately pointless
The joy is in movement, action
Of body, emotion, mind, spirit
Allows me to observe the flow
Or become immersed
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
There is no eternal wrong way
Change is the only constant
I am a product of environment and ancestry
And i can choose what i can.
All dreams are illusion
Ungraspable.
Imagination fills the gaps
When i am committed
I can feel resistance to being
Content with a dream
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
Challenges me to give resistance space too
Shake out what is in there i need
Content to being resistant to illusion of contentment
Hmmm is this the tolerance test
Challenges me to bring boldness To my settling.
Unapologetic but not incurious
In fact curious about everything
Because i am unapologetic
Change of heart and mind can happen
From contentment plus curiosity
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
Because i am indifferent to the nature of experiences
I have more choices
Rather than being fixated on avoiding any one outcome
I can soften into all the possibilities
Allows me to flow through
Unscathed.
This too will pass.
Contentment remains.
Can be addressed boldly, unapologetically
What is easier for me?
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
Speaks from the wisdom of experience
Observer perspective
Some part of me is always there
This is a thread of continuity
The formless self
Unconditional positive regard
Holds space for me to dance and play
Indifferent, unmoved by outside influences
Protects me from unnecessary harm
Keeps me moving through the phases.
THE AUDACITY OF CONTENTMENT
Another paradox, my favourite
Undaunted. Dauntless.
What next? Delighted no matter what.
Holds the wins the losses the successes hte failures
The colours change
Every hue has its moment
Everything becomes possible
Through steady, ongoing contentment
It’s messing with my mind
It feels complete.
Hey Chattie. This week I would like you to Transform the anchored stream of consciousness poem into a relatable everyday embodiment encouragement blog post/email for late diagnosed AuDHD women. Use my friendly, slightly awkward tone of voice. Open with a Reflection on the boldness of softening into and moving with each situation. Noticing resistance to change, the tightening, bracing, and allowing that to melt away as the space becomes more familiar. Which ironically allows more change, because it is rigidity which maintains fearful aspect of status quo. So being here now, recognising the familiar elements, rather than freezing and waiting for it to pass. As much as you’re willing and able. Melt what you can. No matter what, it’s enough.. Then add one suggestion for curious mind, one for connected heart and one for creative body. Outline one moment to notice. with an engagement question. Close with balanced encouragement for sensitive readers, inviting them to stay open to following wondering, without feeling pressured to be fixed
Other posts in the season of consent
The weeks from December Solstice to February Cross Quarter are a time for stillness and enjoying the moment.
My posts have underlying theme of consent and boundaries – to facilitate stillness and enjoyment.
The crossover point from duality to consent was the idea of the radical centre, my edge is the centre of a balanced relationship.
Hope lies beyond the instructions, the rules – crossing (habitual) boundaries
Owning your experience – choice is about consent, but to choose, you have to know what you feel, and how you feel about what you feel.
Joyful resistance – pause to notice the boundary, to discover what consent negotiation is needed
Reaching out from happiness – approaching others, grounded in your space, expecting them to have boundaries, falling back to happiness
The audacity of contentment – commitment to staying with fullness, knowing your limits and respecting them, drawing strength from them. Whatever they are, it’s a copy problem. Ie, reframe thinking.
Your no is welcome and invited – from feeling comfortable with my own boundaries and limits, i am less threatened by the limits of others. Don’t take them personally.
Next season, begin again, the theme is shifting to empathy. Got to have it for self first, and know limits and capacity.