Have you ever noticed how resistance—that dragging-your-heels, full-body “no”—can feel like a threat? Our nervous system kicks into fight-or-flight mode, telling us we need to fix something, run, or freeze. But what if resistance isn’t just a roadblock? What if it’s an invitation to slow down and get really clear on what matters most?
Resistance, when met with curiosity, can reveal values. It’s a guide, pointing us toward what we care about enough to defend, protect, or refine. It asks us to pause, not to push forward mindlessly but to question: What is essential? What can be let go? What’s worth shedding to make space for what truly matters?
For Your Mind: Get Curious
Notice when resistance shows up and ask yourself: What’s underneath this feeling? Is it fear of the unknown, perfectionism, or maybe a desire to protect something meaningful? Write down your observations without judgment. These insights can help you untangle the values hiding behind the discomfort.
For Your Heart: Connect Gently
Resistance often creates tension, but it’s also an opportunity to connect. When someone else’s resistance rubs against your own, can you pause and listen? Ask: What’s important to them here? This simple act of curiosity can transform conflict into connection.
For Your Body: Move Creatively
When you feel stuck, try shifting your energy with movement. Dance, stretch, or take a walk while thinking about what resistance is protecting. Imagine releasing what no longer serves you with each step or stretch. Movement can unlock new insights and soften the edges of resistance.
“Shall we make a podcast?”
Raw conversations between earnest and engaged women
If you’re curious about how other brilliant women navigate their challenges, check out my podcast. It’s a space for Deep and Meaningful (TM) conversations, where guests share how they’ve met resistance with curiosity and found their way forward. Listening might spark some fresh ideas for your own journey.
[✨ Listen here✨]
Spark up*
-
Embodying Hope 1:1 coaching February cohort enrolling now
– deep gentle support in meeting your resistance and emerging with gold -
When an AuDHD woman dreams short story about meeting resistance and choosing ease
– free download
A Moment to Notice
Think about a time when resistance actually helped you. Maybe it slowed you down just enough to avoid a mistake or brought clarity to a tough decision. How did it shape what happened next?
Question: What does resistance look like for you? When has it been a helpful guide?
Hit reply and let me know.
Resistance isn’t here to derail you; it’s here to deepen your clarity and strengthen your connection to what matters. It’s a paradoxical teacher, asking for patience while sharpening your focus. For us as late-diagnosed AuDHD women, resistance can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a superpower—an inner alarm system pointing toward what’s worth fighting for.
This week, stay open to following your wondering. Let yourself notice resistance without rushing to fix it. Simply taking that time, listening to what your resistance wants you to know might spark some fresh ideas.
Affirmation for boundary pushing AuDHD women
Many AuDHD women are interested in exploring edges, boundaries and power differentials.
We are conditioned to work hard! comply, conform, and focus on efficiency. Don’t cause trouble!
Which undermines our ability to sense easier, edgier paths to the same end.
Remember that you can choose ease and connection, even in the midst of challenge. Work is not intrinsically more valuable because it is hard and lonely.
I trust your capacity to play gently around the edges, to make resistance work for you, by pointing you towards what’s most valuable and important. Listening to the experiences of others is a great way to decentre your own stuff for a while. Inside Shall we make a podcast? you can learn from the wisdom of other brilliant women
Reflections on resistance
Sometimes i feel like my whole world is resistance. So many things feel like a struggle. Urgh.
Urgh, visceral response to more complexity.
Let it be easy!!!! And how can it be easy for me?
I was wondering where to go from there.
So I went outside and made a cup of tea, did a quick arm wrestle with my teenager (He won right hand, i won left hand) looked at my two native bonsais and my windowsill full of succulents.
And realised that the fact that I think my life is a struggle is an indicator that resistance is doing its work of drawing attention to the growth edges of my world.
In fact, my life is far from being all struggle. Most of my life is lovely, easy, comfortable. I live in a beautiful, safe part of the world, in relative affluence. I don’t have to worry about food or shelter or transport the vast majority of the time. I am in regular contact with a range of interesting and capable people.
So why would I be thinking I’m facing endless resistance?
LOL, well because there are always more unknowns than knowns in the world.
There is always more to learn and more ways to grow. And the truth is that learning is hard and growing is hard.
And sometimes, it’s ok to have had enough of that for a while.
To be ready to rest into enoughness.
So another great thing about leaning into resistance is that whenever we learn and grow, we are creating more space to rest back into.
So as I struggle to show up in the world in new ways, to create new habits and disciplines, some of the spaces I have already established as familiar and valuable remain available to me.
Cooking a meal, going for a walk, washing the dishes, spending time with my children and friends.
All of these were once learning edges. Frontlines of struggle and resistance.
Now they are comforting reminders of challenges overcome.
And in fact resources to support me when I’m ready to return to learning and growing, facing the difficult tasks of showing up differently in the world.
Both rest and resistance are necessary.
Exhale.
I can actually feel a surprising amount of tension dropping away in acknowledging all of that.
Remembering that life is rarely all of one thing. Attention can be shifted.
Resistance often draws attention. Paradoxically, there’s an invitation there to ease as well, mostly when I remember to breathe and soften – and listen!
Wandering mind writing "the value of resistance"
Inspired by reflecting on Dundalli and all indigenous resistance fighters.
And also
To the oppressed, peace is the absence of oppression (resistance)
To the oppressor, peace is the absence of oppression resistance.
LOL
And also
To the creator, resistance is the source of energy & inspiration
And also
What is the use of poetry? Resistance?
Its about values. The use is to reveal values.
The value of resistance
When i don’t want to do it
That’s resistance (amore)
The use of resistance is to reveal values
To point to what we are protecting through actions
Often we prefer perfection
Doneness, the known, the devil we know
To progress – into the unknown
Trusting enough to move slowly and be messy
Is the fire and water of shedding
What is not necessary to reveal what is essential.
The value of resistance
Invasion Day approaching
We can call it that because of resistance
Frontier wars slowed settler progress
Created time for adaptation and survival
Reminded the newcomers
That the land was not unoccupied or without defence
Reminded the settlers
That respect was due to the existing culture
Reminded the First Nations peoples
That their lifeways have a place here.
The value of resistance
Sharpens attention and focus
Wakes up the insensitive
Draws attention and energy to a point
Of conflict and difference
Reveals negativity and hopelessness
Gives them space to breathe and release
Sustained over time
Reduces anger to laughter
Invites creative thinking and seeing
Requires strength of character
The value of resistance
hard to appreciate when efficiency is king
Brings forth a wide range of emotions
Entertainment for the disengaged
Enabling for the participants
Creates possibilities and futures
That are invisible in a more ordered state
Generates fear and asks us to move through it
Turns us back on ourselves and our support
Creates connections and networks
Of strange bedfellows
The value of resistance
Cuts to the bone, to the steel, to the flame.
Asks where will you not bend
Refines, sharpens, intensifies
And requires thinking bigger, further, higher
Paradoxical invitation to order
And steadiness
Keep your head when all around are losing theirs
You’ll be a man my son
Reveals what you’re really fighting for
Invites, allows a change
The value of resistance
Drains resources
Forces creative use of what remains
Invites questioning of received wisdom
Invites a closer look at the antagonist
Invites wondering where is common ground
Invites negotiation and conversation
Invites connection and collaboration
Invites valuing of differences
Reminds us we are not alone
Reminds us we can choose curiosity and connection.
The value of resistance
An beacon to walk towards
With curiosity and alertness
And invitation to meet another
Where they are truly at
A sign of a boundary
That requires respect
A sign of connection
A pointer to deepter connection
An invitation to patience and kindness
In invitation to awareness.
Hey Chattie. This week I would like you to Transform the anchored stream of consciousness poem below into a relatable everyday embodiment encouragement blog post/email for late diagnosed AuDHD women. Use my friendly, slightly awkward tone of voice.
Open with a reflection about how the idea of resistance can trigger fight or flight response, but in fact resistance is an invitation to slow down and get very clear about what is most important.
Then add one suggestion for curious mind, one for connected heart and one for creative body. Outline one moment to notice. with an engagement question.
Close with balanced encouragement for sensitive readers, inviting them to stay open to following wondering, without feeling pressured to be fixed
Somehow I want to use this theme to point towards my podcast as a weekly spotlight, brilliant women in deep and meaningful conversation about how they have approached challenging experiences in their lives.
