A not-so-polished story of resistance, tenderness, and truce
Some days, I think I’ve outgrown the voice that tells me I’m not enough.
Other days, it shows up louder than ever.
Especially when I’m stretching.
Especially when I’m thinking about doing something new, uncertain, meaningful.
This isn’t a neat resolution.
It’s a practice. A story. A paradox.
Here’s how I’m learning to meet the inner critic with curiosity—and how, sometimes, it meets me back.
1. The Return
It’s here again.
Urgh.
Predictably unpredictable.
Just when I stretch into something bigger—
it pops up, waving a list of everything I’m not doing.
Urgh.
This is the work:
Noticing.
Noticing that it’s not me, exactly.
But it’s in me.
It doesn’t want to ruin me.
It just doesn’t know how to help.
Or how to shut up.
2. Outwit Is Not an Insult
Here’s the thing:
The inner critic is loud.
But not clever.
That’s not a burn. It’s the invitation.
It says “You should be doing everything.”
I say “I’m doing what I can with the resources I have.”
It throws everything I’m not at me like confetti.
I learn to say,
“No thank you.”
Over and over.
Socialise it. Teach it to take no for an answer.
It’s not a battle.
It’s an awkward group project.
3. She Appears, Eventually
At some point, the critic grows a shape.
A voice. A gender. A history.
She’s not the villain.
She’s the one who shows up when I’m at my most vulnerable.
She holds the whole rest of the universe
and sprays it like a firehose I didn’t ask for.
She thinks she’s helping.
She’s forgotten how to be kind.
But I remember.
And I ask her:
Just one thing – a glass of water please.
One small, doable thing.
And sometimes she gets it right.
4. We Are Becoming Something New
We talk now.
It’s awkward.
But we’re trying.
We sit down, like odd colleagues with a long and complicated past.
She still mutters. I still roll my eyes.
But we share something.
A desire to care.
To protect.
To carry the things that matter.
We are unlearning fear-as-motivation.
We are building a different kind of relationship.
5. I Notice. I Soften. I Begin Again.
I no longer flinch when she arrives.
Well—maybe just a little.
But I see her more clearly now.
Not the enemy. Not the voice of truth.
Just the one who shows up
when I’m about to grow
and forget I’m already enough.
She stands in the doorway,
half-blocking the light,
half-reflecting it.
She is behind me,
holding the weight of all I haven’t done,
whispering reminders of the limits I once believed.
And she is ahead of me,
beckoning with an edge of doubt,
testing how much I trust myself to step through.
It’s awkward.
It’s complicated.
It’s strangely tender.
Because maybe—
she’s the last part of me
that still believes I need permission.
And maybe
I don’t.
So I thank her
for carrying what I couldn’t,
for calling me forward,
even if her timing is terrible.
I say,
I’ve got it now.
You can rest.
And sometimes—
she does.
And when she does,
I can rest too, into what now comes easy.
Ready for Inner Peace?
If this story resonated, and you’re finding yourself stuck at the threshold of something new —looping in self-doubt, spinning in “not enough,” or simply unsure how to begin—
I’d love to support you.
Making Peace with Your Inner Critic
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This isn’t about silencing the critic.
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Spark up*
Glimmers in the void: Soul work support. Post when you’re working. Support others with emojis. Not a chat channel.✨ Free Signal group.
The luxury of grief: Love shows up in surprising ways. Karen Wyatt shares her story. Real women’s stories of transformation podcast
Recalibrate for joy : If you could move how you wanted to, which way would you go? Free audio guide.
A moment to notice
💭 What does your inner critic sound like when you’re on the edge of growth?
What would change if you imagined it had something to offer—
something not meant to crush you, but to connect you?
I’d love to hear what shows up for you.
Dare to bring some stuff into the light with me?
Contact me here, or book a call below
Affirmation for Tender Hearted Women
You are already enough, even when that old voice says otherwise.
Many women love to care deeply, tune in closely, and hold more than they let on.
They are conditioned to dismiss their own needs, second-guess their desires, and confuse criticism with improvement.
Which undermines our ability to grow gently, trust ourselves, and receive support when we most need it.
Remember you can soften without shrinking, stay curious in the discomfort, and shift your relationship with that inner voice.
I trust you to notice the glimmers, even in the void—and find your own rhythm for returning to ease.
Inside Making Peace with Your Inner Critic, you’ll explore five steps to shift from struggle to self-trust, with support to reclaim your energy, refine your inner dialogue, and get out of your own way—without force, without apology.
🌟
Drafting notes outwitting your Inner Critic
This is the work
Grappling with
Urgh
Predictably unpredictable
Keeps popping up
Urgh
Need support when going bigger
Urgh
Manage inner critic
Outwit inner critic
Oh
Literally
Use outer wit
Trust others smarts
Urgh
Outwit your inner critic
Teach
Show
Urgh
How to even talk about it
Urgh
Urgh
Urgh
Outwit and gently teach
Rather than make a fool of
Calm inner critic
So can learn
Urgh
Urgh
Urgh
Surprise and delight inner critic
Relationship with inner critic
Approach with calm
Curiosity
Urgh
Urgh
Urgh
Urgh
Outwit your inner critic.
(Not hard, critic is not that smart, that’s the point)
Wants to learn?
Doesn’t know how
Expexts to be met with dismissal
Acting out for attention?
Urgh
Urgh
Urgh
I was a housewife
Dr who finale
Move the universe to save a child (Black girl)
Women see the need
Women stay at home
Mothers want to go home
The doctors othrworldliness grounded in women mothering
Generations of it.
Mothers want to get home to children
Inner critic holds (all) the things I am not doing.
And offers them to me
But I am trying to focus on what I am doing and can do with the resources available to me
So I could consider the IC offers
Or not
No thank you
Socialise the IC
To take no for an answer
No thank you
And then – what
Trusting you to hold all the things I can’t right now.
Trusting you to witness what I am doing
Trusting your patience
And curiosity
What if I could talk to my inner critic without her trying to fix everything?
And then she would just choose one small thing to suggest
Doable
And is she as capable and connected as I think?
We’ll find out
But I do think she can go away and bitch to her friends about me in a healthy way
So that she can come back and be my compliment
Inner critic
My complement.
Also holds compliments.
Maybe it’s time for a break
And review of what I’ve learned from the first series.
The rest!!
Critic holds the rest / remainder
Balance.
I don’t want it – yet/now
Gratitude for holding what I cannot
Thank you for reminding me you’re there
And that there is more available to me
Especially when I feel inadequate
Lol
Which is when you show up
Gosh, that’s love
Inner critic is the self that shows up when I’m most vulnerable and feeling inadequate.
What if is on my side
And I could expect love and support when I’m feeling low
And that love and support looks like remembering I have many different options available
What if I was delighted to see the critic arrive
Like Santa
Fairy godmother
Those emotions that arise
Is the state change
Keep at respectful distance though
Or become overwhelmed
Presence is enough to begin
This is a relationship to build
Radical axis
That’s the line it’s scary to cross
Except imho
Already there in mirror
Doubled
Outwit your inner critic with love and acceptance
What if I softened with delight when my IC shows up
Knowing she’s bringing me something astonishing
And that not enough chat is my conditioning that keeps me small and isolated
What if she simply wants to sit down with me
And check in where I’m at
And see what’s in her Mary Poppins bag of tricks
To ease my pain and fear
What if I trusted her to be kind and caring
And that she knows me
And my capacity perfectly
And can also see a bigger picture than I can
Or a different one?
That would be wild
To trust the care of what shows up when I am down
Rather than the not enough
That is blocking out care kindness and growth?
Is the inner critic a beast?
Or have I got that all muddled
Have I bound myself up to receive only harshness, so that’s what I get
When I could expect kindness, encouragement, support, perfectly matched challenge and attention.
Starting with meeting at a safe distance
Glimmers in the void
Murray st chocolate ice cream
Heidi merika new book – from the wild
I have a sense of her all around me actually, definitely before and behind, and carrying all the things i can’t. The rest. what is laid to rest for now. There’s a twist on rest here. so when i move she stirs. hmmm. that’s a useful graphic for me.
Rest is how we meet and raise the rest as required.
Dreams wake with us
[R]est and repose apply especially to the suspended activity of the body ; ease and quiet to freedom from occupation or demands for activity, especially of the body ; tranquility and peace to the freedom of the mind from harassing cares or demands.
Rest signifies primarily to cease from action or work, but naturally by extension to be refreshed by doing so, and further to be refreshed by sleeping. Repose does not necessarily imply previous work, but does imply quietness, and generally a reclining position, while we may rest in a standing position.
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