Why It’s So Hard for Women with AuDHD to Take a Deeply Restorative Break.
From the outside, it may look like we’ve designed lives full of delightful variety—satisfying work, community service, family time, movement, social connection, personal downtime (ideally with a book). It might even seem like we’re always doing exactly what we want.
So why would we need a holiday?
The truth is, for women with AuDHD, life is an intricate balancing act of momentum, transitions, and careful scheduling. And even when it’s working, exhaustion can creep in. The idea of stepping away—even for rest—can feel more overwhelming than staying in motion.
1. Momentum: The Energy of Long-Term Commitment
When things are in balance, we ride a wave of carefully scheduled activities. The constant motion feels good—until it doesn’t. Each responsibility brings a different kind of reward, keeping energy flowing in a cycle that feels productive and satisfying. We’ve built systems that nourish us in multiple ways, and disrupting that balance feels risky.
2. Transitions: The Challenge of Switching States
Even within our carefully designed lives, transitions are hard. Moving between work and rest, engagement and solitude, productivity and stillness—it all requires effort. Small pauses (a book, a walk, a deep breath) can offer micro-restoration, but truly stepping away? That feels impossible. If we stop, will we be able to start again?
3. Capacity: The Deep Conditioning of Always Helping
There’s an unspoken fear underneath it all: Who am I if I’m not helping? Many of us have internalized the belief that our worth is tied to our ability to contribute. The thought of being “unable” to help—even temporarily—triggers something deep. The idea of being truly still, truly at rest, can feel like being… helpless. Vulnerable.
Rest, Reflect, Rewire
A Retreat for Women Who Hold So Much
If taking a true break feels impossible, you’re not alone. But rest doesn’t have to mean stopping cold—it can be a shift in momentum, a new rhythm.
At Rest, Reflect, Rewire, we create a space where you can step out of the relentless cycle of doing and into a gentle, nourishing flow.
🌿 Rest isn’t about losing momentum—it’s about learning how to pause without fear that everything will unravel. Through guided relaxation and embodied practices, you’ll experience deep, restorative rest while staying connected to what matters most.
🌿 Reflect invites you to slow down and notice the transitions in your life. What patterns sustain you? Which ones drain you? In supportive conversation and quiet contemplation, you’ll build the muscle of self-awareness—so that moving between states feels smoother, not jarring.
🌿 Rewire is about shifting your relationship to capacity. What if helping others didn’t mean depleting yourself? What if rest wasn’t something you had to earn? Through gentle, pleasure-centered practices, you’ll begin to rewrite the script—one that allows you to take up space, reclaim stillness, and trust that you are enough, just as you are.
Join us for Rest, Reflect, Rewire—a retreat designed for women like you, who hold so much, and deserve a space to exhale.
[✨ Learn more✨]
Spark up*
If you’re craving a gentle way to start making space for yourself now, ask me about One Step Towards the Universe—a weekly parallel play/co-working session where you can show up exactly as you are, take one small step forward, and feel the magic of moving together. 💫
There’s power in the vulnerability of responding to the need to take a break.
Many years ago, I found myself on the floor, exhausted and broken, asking: Where is my power?
The answer I received: Here. In the stillness. In the breaking.
What if we let ourselves rest—not as a reward for doing enough, but because we are already enough?
Maybe the seeds of something new are scattered in the space we finally allow ourselves to take.
AuDHD-friendly affirmation for agile women
Many women with AuDHD in their lives are astonishingly agile at maintaining balance and flow between their many interests.
They are conditioned to become perpetual motion machines, pulling energy from doing what they love to sustain momentum through habitual activities that drain them
Which undermines our ability to pivot, to change speed and direction, to slow right down.
Remember that you can choose how you blend movement and stillness to create flow.
I trust your ability to feel your need for a break as part of the dance.
Rest Reflect Rewire Retreat supports you to weave slowness and reflection into your life as powerful energisers.
Notes on never stopping
From the outside, it may appear that the lives of many women with AuDHD in their lives are full of delightful treats, and that they’re doing whatever they like most of the time.
Why would they need a holiday?
The problem is that being multi passionate, and easily bored, where possible, we have indeed set our lives up so that there are a number of rewarding things we do enjoy to turn our attention to as needed.
Satisfying work, community service, family time, physical activity, social events, personal down time (with a book).
I feel exhausted just looking at that list, and yet I know that I need all of those scheduled in to feel in balance.
When it is possible, all of these things are scheduled into our lives.
Momentum – long term commitment – ease
Transitions – switching between things – micro breaks
Careful scheduling and balancing – excitement
Different rewards from each thing on the list – energy flows – quality nourishment
Complex equation with multiple variables – smug and satisfied architect of life
And still feeling exhausted.
How is it even possible to add anything else in
And who am I to want more????
Can you feel the tension in your body, your field of holding all of this complexity, all of these connections, relationships, standards.
This is a lot for one person to hold, and yet you hold it, day in, day out., year in year out.
Like it’s almost nothing.
Except it’s really not.
There is pleasure here, and there is pain too.
It’s scary to consider doing anything different to what is already heere.
Spending time unproductively.
I can’t afford that. There is too much to do. And I am so fortunate.
So fortunate to be able to help so many people. In so many diverse ways.
Capacity.
Yes. It’s true.
And I suggest there is some deep conditioning there around ablism.
That the worst thing is to be unable to help.
So we spend all our time helping others – and switching between energies and forms so that the help is continuous, but feels differentiated. Mostly circular energy flow.
Until it’s hard to imagine what an actual break would look or feel like.
To be helpless. Handless. Vulnerable, on the floor.
Many years ago now, I was on the floor in a puddle, and I asked where is my power?
The answer I received was here, on the floor. Feeling broken.
Looked up the never not broken goddess ashwina something
Seeds scattered.
More reasons to make more space for you
There are a heap of reasons to take space and time for you especially as a woman with AuDHD in your life.
“I need a holiday!”
– Momentum, Transitions and Capacity
Fill your own cup first
– Energy leaks, guilt and lack of practice
Tending the quiet flame of joy
– compass, anchor, connection
Why open ended conversations matter
– dream, connect, explore
Step away to find your way
– separation, honesty, satisfaction
