Your dream, your terms

Rachael, laughing

Written by Rachael Skyring

Rachael Skyring is a curious woman. AuDHD (very late diagnosed). Committed carer. Over thinker. Sensitive feeler. Stubborn AF. With postgraduate degrees in Astrophysics and Rocket Science, she's spent the last twenty years as mostly a Mum, the last ten honing her metaphysical quantum brain surgery skills through mindful movement and embodiment practices. Whoever you want to be, and wherever you want to go, Rachael can start you on your way. The sky's the limit. Let's begin!

21 January 2025

I’ve never been a fan of goal setting.  It feels exhausting just to think about – I feel myself tightening up, bracing for the disappointment.  Because the external goals I reflexively set are ridiculous from my current position.  Way beyond my capacity and control.  

Eg  I will get 1000 subscribers.  I will make a viral post.  I will lose 10kg.  I will earn 100k.

I’ve learned to reframe these ideas as dreams.  And it’s great to have a dream!

But it’s also best to hold it at arm’s length.  Those are the goalposts that are going to keep shifting.  The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  Not actually achievable (with current resources).

There is another kind of goal though, which I find much more palatable, and which turns the whole achieving goals thing into an unfolding journey of delight and self acceptance.

“Input goals” are a commitment to self and dream together,

and enable focusing on the here and now.

For example : I will send an email every week.  I will post every day for one month.  I will walk for 30 minutes 4 days a week for six weeks.   I will schedule at least two open ended conversations each month.

These are actually SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound.

Start with a dream, to set your heading, then come all the way back to where you are right now, and what is ACHIEVABLE.

I think that’s the biggest shift.  That goals should be ACHIEVABLE.   As opposed to dreams, which by definition are not (yet)

In my experience, after I have met my goals, day by day, week by week, I have a much better understanding of what else the dream might require.  And then I can schedule that.

Every time I meet an input goal,

I am building self trust and building self belief.

And sometimes, when I look up, the dream is both much closer and feels quite different to what it did previously.  Which gives more information about how to proceed next.

For example, the 1000 subscribers thing I thought was impossible for a long time.  Recently, I was in a group call with a couple of women who jumped from less than 100 to more than 1000 in a couple of months.   Suddenly, that seemed within reach.  Whoah!!!   I noticed that I was feeling constricted thinking about it, because my business structures are not yet stable enough to support that much interest.    

So seeing the dream up close enabled me to see the next work I need to accomplish in order to increase my capacity to hold the thing I want.   The funny thing was, when it did get up close, I pushed it back.  My dream, my terms.

You have a dream that keeps tugging at you, but you’re ignoring it because it’s ridiculous.

I say, let it be ridiculous, and pay it attention.  There is something vital it’s calling you into.   Feeling alive, engaged, included, on purpose.

Maybe it’s actually closer than you think or want it to be.  

It’s ok to push your dreams back

to make room for your input goals, so the dream doesn’t chew you up and burn you out.

You’re allowed to prefer to do the work, to create the environment that feels right for you to achieve your next level.

When you’re ready to meet your dream.  It’s going to be there for you, because you’ve done the work to make yourself comfortable with receiving it, rather than becoming overwhelmed.  

So, goals first, dreams second.  How does that sound?

All of this AuDHD wisdom and experience is built into my
1:1 embodiment coaching program,
Embodying Hope,
enabling you to build radical self belief
through experiencing the path that lights you up with AuDHD joy.

You can read lots about it here.

Resistance can shift very quickly when you let go of what’s impossible

 

Inside our coaching container, you’ll be supported to choose achievable input goals for yourself.  

Then you’ll be free to

  • Take the first step

  • Try another way to make it work

  • Find sustainable action

  • Gain momentum

  • Generate creative ideas

  • allow reasonable risk

  • Make awkward mistakes

  • Achieve surprising insights

  • Grow courageously

Which means that whatever happens, you’ll end up with net positive growth experience that you won’t classify as another predictable failure.

Instead you’ll rightly claim your outcome as an audacious success, and a stepping stone to even greater growth and expansion to come.   The confidence you develop from accumulating small wins gives you the freedom to believe that bigger ones are also within reach.

And you know what else?

You’ll naturally reframe past outcomes with a positive spin, and come to understand that
you are building on to a long history of growth and freedom not starting now from scratch.

    The first step on this confidence nurturing journey is scheduling a zero obligation Freeing the Invisible Woman session, where we’ll explore where you’re at, what’s calling you, and what you need most to support you getting there.

     

    You’ll leave with an unexpected action step and an energising earworm to keep.

     

    Enrolment is open now.

     

    I look forward to speaking with you, answering all your questions, and making 2025 a year to remember because you are able to meet your dreams on your terms.

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